Kakadu and Litchfield tour - 26th-28th September

On Monday night, Michele and I were having a quiet drink. She said she was thinking of moving hostels, as the YHA hadn't been all that great, so I showed her round Melaleuca, and after she'd seen rooms, toliets and general facilities, we decided to sample the bar. In the bar at about 8pm we met Mark, a construction worker from Basingstoke, who hasn't been in Australia for the last three or four years, according to his visa status. Mark had been in the hostel for a few weeks, and seemed to spend every night indulging heavily in Darwin's favourite pastime, yet incredibly he made it to work every day at 6am sharp. Aware that I had to be up at 5.45 to catch my tour at 6.30am, I took that as a reassurance. At 11.30pm, and after several of the blue beers, and some of the yellow ones, I decided it was really time to go, so checking Michele was ok with our new friend, I staggered to bed. At 5.45am I realised I'd made something of an error, but by then there was nothing I could do, so I stumbled downstairs and slumped into my seat at the back of the tour bus.

Swimming in clear rockpools surrounded by greenery, in cool, fresh water is the best hangover cure I've ever tried. By 11am when we'd left Florence falls, I was as clear headed as if I'd gone to bed at 8pm with a mug of cocoa. Buley waterhole had much the same effect, and I went into the afternoon feeling much better. Our time in Litchfield was pretty brief, but in one morning we took in the magnetic termite mounds (all of which run north-south, and look a bit like gravestones) as well as the two waterfall systems above. While Litchfield doesn't have quite the same drama as Kakadu, it's all so much closer together that if you're up here and pushed for time, I'd definitely recommend it over its more famous counterpart.

The afternoon of the first day was spent on a cruise of the Mary River Wetlands. Jason, our guide for the cruise, told us humans had been around for 250,000 years, and that the crocodiles in the river had remained unchanged for close to 250 million years. He said he liked to think of this area as his own Jurassic Park. Aside from the crocs, one of which gave us a bit of a shock when it threatened to try to eat the boat, we saw sea eagles, cranes, wallabies, wild pigs and unusually, this buffalo. We were told that people pay $6,000 for tours by plane and boat to find buffalo to photograph, so I took quite a few photos. I reckon I must have saved myself about $100,000 in all.

Kakadu took up all of the second and third days, and we saw Jim Jim Falls, Maguk, Ubirr and the cultural centre. Driving to Jim Jim Falls is definitely a job for a tour guide though, as we had to rescue one 4wd on the way in and another on the way out. The 10km on almost impassable terrain was worth it though. The cliffs of the rock pool towered 150m above us, and the water was deep and clear, and full of fish. It's a shame that the falls dry up at the end of the dry season - following rain in the last few days they're probably running now - but Jim Jim Walls was just as spectacular.

Maguk, on the last day, was a real treat. A series of three rock pools cut deep into the rock, with a tall waterfall at the end, this was the only one where Steve, our tour guide, actually swam as well, and one of his favourite spots in the park. In the first pool, there was a hole in the rock above one side, where you could access a smaller pool from above. The only way out, though, was under the rock, two or three metres under the water. Swimming in and out of there was probably the most challenging swim I've done in a decade, though that's more a reflection on me than the swim. With any luck I'll have had more practice by the time my parents take me to the reef.

On the way home we encountered a few showers - the first rain for some parts of the Top End since July. The lady at the digeridoo shack said they'd had rain a month ago, but just cause they get rain doesn't mean people 400m to the north get it. The digeridoo shack was an experience too, with snakes and birds for people to hold and be photographed with. The galah was rather badly behaved. "They're very destructive birds in nature," the lady said, "Any time he bites people they sort of laugh nervously, and he's heard it so much that now when he bites people's fingers he laughs at them as well!" And he did, as several of the tour found out. The snake was very popular too.

Back in Darwin I discovered my hotel room had five beds in it, which was a nice surprise. It also meant I had 6 spare towels, but I've been well behaved and not brought them all home with me.

Darwin - 22nd-29th September

Darwin has a population of about 80,000 people, which I'm pretty sure makes it Australia's smallest state capital. Naturally, as such and as capital of Australia's most rural administrative area, (Northern Territory is a Territory, not a State, thus the convoluted nomenclature,) it has a different character to the cosmopolitan, latte-sipping cities I've experienced so far. On facebook, I may have commented that there was a certain irony in naming the most backward Australian capital Darwin, but that's something I take back. Darwin being so small, the transient backpacker population here is proportionally larger and more visible than other cities I've seen so far, which is bound to make people seem a bit ape-like here. To make a sweeping generalisation, backpackers are drunken, sex-crazed morons, and while I approve of the adjectives in moderation, the noun is not something I'll tolerate. All of the proper Territorians I've met in Darwin have been charming, friendly people, and most keep their knuckles well off the ground.

I visited the Botanical Gardens and the Northern Territory Museum and Art Gallery on my first day here, and wandered back through Mindil Beach where the famous markets are held. With the exception of the excellent Cyclone Tracy exhibit in the museum, all were pleasant but unremarkable. This is more than I can say for the weather on both counts. It hovers at about 34C, and never less than 40% humidity at this time of year, which was all a bit much. Most of the day was spent trying to find air conditioning, or sitting in the shade. The photo on the left here is of the witchety grub, and its resulting moth, from the museum. They're much bigger than I thought - you could probably get a decent meal out of two of them.

Cyclone Tracy is one of several major events that have shaped Darwin's history. Having established itself as a decent sized town, Darwin received more bombs from the Japanese than Pearl Harbour, in February 1942. this destroyed much of the town, and it was assumed it was a preamble to a land invasion. The events were actually kept relatively quiet from the rest of Australia, for fear panic would do much of the Japanese forces' work for them. The land invasion never came, and by 1974, Darwin was thriving again, only to be hit by the strongest winds ever recorded on mainland Australia, in the form of Cyclone Tracy. Winds of 217km/h were recorded at the airport, before the anemometer broke (which I think deserves another 10km/h or so for effort). The museum has exhibits dealing with much of this, particularly the cyclone. The most striking part is the pitch-black room, where you are played the sound recording of the cyclone. Sweetheart the crocodile drove home exactly what you'd be dealing with if you swam in the wrong place in Kakadu too.

One thing you shouldn't miss in Darwin is the Mindil Beach Sunset Markets. Lots of food stalls, beautiful sunsets over the Timor Sea, arts and craft stalls and entertainment too. As well as various digeridoo based bands (usually white guys) and a couple of aboriginal guitarists playing Bon Jovi tunes (the wrong way round, surely?) there was a juggler who was more of a stand-up comedian. "Juggling" he said, and juggled three flaming clubs. "New Zealand juggling" he said, putting the clubs on the floor, and swapping them from side to side. "Oh, sorry, that's not fair on any Kiwis here is it?" he conceded. "I'll do it slower". The finale was him doing a backflip off the roof rack of his van onto the tarmac below. "Oh shit...Normally I do this on grass" he told us "but this morning I ran out". Pause for laughter. "No, I'm just kidding. I never run out".

This morning, I checked out of a hotel (I treated myself) and asked if they minded me using the hotel pool and TV lounge, as I'd done everything I wanted to do in Darwin. He said that was fine, but also commented "The pub opens in twenty minutes". Having seen most of the town on the first day here, that's pretty much how I've spent the rest of the time in Darwin, and it seems to be the most popular pastime up here. Apparently the average Territorian drinks half as much again as the average Australian, and to be fair, the average Australian likes a drink or two. I now have 12 hours to kill in Darwin, so I imagine I'll be dropping into a bar or two later.

The Ghan - 20th and 21st September

The Afghan Express was the name affectionately given to the camel trains that used to be Alice Springs' only connection to the outside world, and so when the rail link to Adelaide was finally completed, it adopted the same name. Australians, though, are remarkably lazy when it comes to words with more than two syllables (for example, aggro, ambo, arvo, bikey, beaut, and that's just from the beginning of the alphabet), and so they shortened it over time, until the train is now simply called the Ghan. It's pronounced to rhyme with can, though most British and some Australians pronounce it to rhyme with barn, quite understandably. The company that runs the train reverses the usual trend for abbreviation, insisting on calling the train The Legendary Ghan at every opportunity. Presumably the only reason they don't write that on the engine is because the writing would have to be much smaller.

I got onto the train and sought my seat. Seeing someone sat in the seat next to mine, I said "Hi, I'm seat number 6", intending it to be a light hearted introduction. She replied "Yes, that's the aisle seat, I'm number 5", clearly assuming I was asking her to move. There was a pause, while I contemplated spending the whole journey next to someone I'd ticked off in my first 5 words. "My name's Matt". "I'm Michele, nice to meet you". Michele was from Co. Clare in Ireland, and was also heading up to Darwin, so we chatted for a bit, and then she discovered a free seat at the front of the carriage. As we were stuck on the train for a full 24 hours, she thought it'd be sensible to take it, but we agreed to meet for dinner, and over dinner decided we got on well enough to organise our activities in Katherine together.

The Katherine stopover was from 9am to 2.30pm, giving us 5 hours plus to enjoy Nitmiluk National Park, or Katherine Gorge. So I booked my gorge transfer bus, and Michele did the same. On arriving in Katherine the following morning we were told we'd need to be back on the train at 1pm, as a freight train was due to use the track around the station from that time. Fine, that still leaves four hours. By the time we got to the gorge, it was shortly after 10am. Fine, still three hours to get back to the train. The coach driver said "Right, you guys, meet me at the visitor centre at 11.15am". My five hour exploration of one of the Top End's big draws had finally come down to a little under an hour, and Michele and I were more than a little vexed. Still, walking up the cliff of the first gorge, we made the first lookout and took some photos. A random Australian tourist talked about sport to me (I'm so glad I don't like cricket) and we headed back down, leaving enough time for a 10 minute swim in the river (keeping an eye out for crocs) before heading back to the bus. It was a hell of a view, as you can see, but I woudl have liked a little longer.

Back on the train, we waited in the platform from 1pm to 3pm, then headed to Darwin. On the way, the film in our carriage was Norbit. Don't bother seeing it. I never thought I'd say this of any film, but The Nutty Professor was actually better than Norbit. We finally arrived into Darwin at about 7.30pm, an hour late, and just in time to miss the sunset. The Legendary Ghan struck me as legendary in two ways only - slow and late. Having said that, it's a great way to see places on the way to your destination, there was much more space than on a plane, and not surprisingly, less turbulence.

Alice Springs - 17th to 20th September

Alice Springs is a fascinating town in its history. Originally just a telegraph station on the North-South line from Adelaide to Darwin, it was a vital link in communications with Britain and the rest of the world. The telegraph system meant messages to London that previously took three months to get there and back could be transmitted in a matter of days. The name came from the Alice Spring, a waterhole by the station 3km north of the town (originally called Stuart after an explorer). The spring, in turn, was named after the postmaster's wife, Alice. It's around 1500km to Darwin, and the same to Adelaide, and those two points are the closest coastal towns, and the closest settlements with more than about 10,000 people. A lot of this history is told on a very informative and well presented tour of the telegraph station, which I took yesterday.

Among Alice's attractions are a Desert Park (which Bill Bryson dryly remarks upon, exclaiming disbelief at a recreation of authentic desert environments in the desert), a Botanical garden sycophantically devoted to the woman who set it up, and even the reports in the ark only manage to thinly disguise how cantankerous she was - part of dealing with the harsh conditions, I suppose - and an annual regatta which has to be cancelled if there's any water in the river. The Todd river flows very rarely, and once didn't flow for 8 years. In fact, they say if you see it flow three times you're a local. This year it flowed three times between January and March alone, s there's a lot more locals out there these days, but right now it's dry as a bone.

Waking up in the dorm at Annie's Place just in time, I went out to meet Danie and Yoko for breakfast. We wandered up Todd Street Mall, and picked up a substantial breakfast. We bumped into Susan too, who was exploring the town. We all learned that Susan had vaccinated chickens for a living in Perth, and when she described the skills this required we were a bit surprised. Susan is a very quiet young woman from Taiwan, and the thought of her carrying 7 chickens in each hand didn't sit right somehow. Anyway, after sitting enjoying the busker on the bench across the street, we parted ways, and I explored the town for myself. The view from Anzac Hill was a great way to get oriented, though it's difficult to get lost in Alice Springs, and there were numerous places selling aboriginal art and didgeridoos. You get the impression that a number of Aborigines are able to make a living from this, as they should - it's good stuff. The sad thing is, the vast majority of Aborigines seem to be very poor indeed. The crowds outside the hospital alone are testament to that. This morning's local paper reported on some YouTube threads against a video containing racial slurs from a local sports match, and seemed to suggest that there were still a lot of problems in that area.

Across from the hosital there's an excellent secondhand bookshop, where the lady who runs it is so familiar with her products that she was able to turn straight to the section on Alice Springs in "Down Under" by Bill Bryson. "He was a bit harsh with Alice" she said. I read it later. He said it was a bit dull, and peole come here largely because it has a reputation for being hard to get to, which is absurd now it has a commercial airport. He also said people came because outback life is harsh and gritty, and right now, Alice is full of American chain shops. He also said that, despite all that he liked it rather a lot (though he liked it more after a few drinks). I agree with all of that, and don't think it's unfair or harsh at all.

Back at the hostel, Scott, a reptile expert from North Sydney, is staying overnight to make his way to Darwin. He's been trying to get there for years, but something always comes up. "Last year my brother died" he said. "That was inconsiderate of him" I replied, as sensitively as possible. "Yeah, he always was a selfish bastard". After the uncomfortable pause that followed, Scott said he was heading down to the bar "so I'll see you down there later". It was a statement rather than a question, so I went. There, Evan from New Orleans, Mark from England and Scott and I put a few beers away, with a German girl called Caroline and a Dutch girl whose name I've already forgotten, and Rio from Japan. Eventually the male contingent returned to our room and played Uno with a bottle of bourbon and some Coke. The room was a ten bed dorm, and there were six of us playing. One other guy was out for the evening. So we were a little surprised when 4 guys from Hong Kong arrived for the night. The problem was compounded when two Irish guys returned from their evening out. Eventually someone was called up from the bar to sort it out - it turned out the guys from Hong Kong had booked for the following night, or otherwise had been booked for it in error - and we got a good night's sleep. Scott, on the other hand, full of bourbon and Coke, decided now was a good time to hit the road. So he jumped back in his car and disappeared. Being half asleep when he left I did say "What, now?" and when he replied "yeah, this is the best time, the roads will be quiet", I hadn't the presence of mind to argue.

Most of the rest of my time in Alice has been pretty uneventful but it does have a certain charm. You kind of want to stay here longer just to see if anything happens. Maybe it's also because you want to see whether the river "flowing" is the same as rivers flowing everywhere else, or it's just a damp streak of mud down the middle. Maybe it's to see whether the busker knows the middle section to Easy by the Commodores or not (sadly he was interrupted halfway through by an admiring member of the public). Maybe it's because there's a rock festival here this weekend. Anyway, I'll be on the train to Darwin in a few hours either way, and I'll leave feeling glad I came to Alice, even if I can't quite say why.

Perth to Alice Springs, in a big 4WD van

This is the bit of the travelling I'd been waiting for. Three days in the desert, camping under the stars. The Olgas, Uluru, King's Canyon, and lots of other stuff. In a lot of ways it lived up to the buildup I'd given it, but in some, it was a little different. Firstly, the three days in the desert consisted of stops at fuel stations, and about 8-12 hours' driving a day, and secondly, the first night I had wildly underestimated how much I needed to wear to keep warm! All in all though, I'm still very glad to have done it, and grateful to Terry our tour guide and driver (and cook, and entertainment, and astronomer and general resource - a really incredible guy) and to the other folks on the tour for making it so much fun.

12th September - I was picked up from the hostel ready to hit the road. The driver, Terry mentioned we were being joined by Yoko Ono, and we joked about whether it would be the proper one. We picked up everyone else from around town and headed out of Perth. At about noon we stopped for lunch - sandwiches and pasta salad, very tasty, and a few people made introductions. Then we headed out to Kalgoorlie and Coolgardie, which is goldmining country. This would be our last chance to get cheap booze for about a week, the driver said. Then we headed out to our campsite - a flat area of dust just off the highway - and set up a fire and camp for the night.

13th September - We got up at sunrise, something we were going to have to get used to. I hovered by the fire, desperately trying to get back some lost heat from the cold, windy night. We piled onto the bus and headed to the abandoned gold mining town at Gwalia, and spent 15 minutes looking at the rusted shacks with tables and chairs, beds and even books still in there from 1967 when the town was closed down overnight. The rest of the day was spent driving, but we did see kangaroos, eagles, goats and even emus from the truck. We also saw a thorny devil, a spiny lizard, and so Terry stopped and showed it to us close up. It even ended up on Jurgen and Jo's heads! Terry also showed us a few waterholes on the way. The aborigines used to fill them with gravel to stop anything falling in and polluting the water. One we saw hadn't been maintained, and was full of emu, so probably wasn't good to drink. When we got to the camp, Ellie said she was worried about scorpions, but Terry said she shouldn't worry about them, the snakes are much worse! After that, she was going to sleep on the bus, but she braved it, even after spotting a snake shaped branch on the floor.

14th September - Lots of camels on the roadside all day today, and all dirt roads, much like yesterday, and much like the following day, it would transpire. We stopped at Warburton, one of the most remote petrol stations in the world! It's odd to drive 300km without seeing anything, and then arrive at a roadhouse by an aboriginal town you aren't allowed to enter, and then drive another 300km to the next one. At the next one though, there was a weather station, and we were there just in time for the weather balloon launch. If the meteorologist bears a striking resemblance to Ellie, that's a coincidence, members of the public aren't allowed to launch weather balloons.

Earlier in the day I'd asked Terry how often he got flat tyres. He said "Hardly ever, but now you've tempted fate, so if we get one, it's your fault!". Guess what?! We got one... Terry fixed it when we got to our camp, just over the Northern Territory border. And we found a frisbee and threw that about a bit. And I sang Great Balls of Creep to everyone, round the fire.

15th September - At about 10am, a few hours on the road, we sighted the Olgas on the horizon. I realised I didn't know what to expect from them, but they were every bit as impressive as Uluru. On the walk into the valley we met some very jubilant greek guys from Melbourne. They caught us up near the car park and danced with Megan and Danie, which we all joked about all afternoon! A few minutes later, Uluru came into view, and we drove past to Yalura, the Ayers Rock resort. After lunch we headed to the rock and saw a waterhole at the foot of it, and some cave paintings. The information we were given, and Terry's talks about the sites at the foot of the rock, drove home the cultural significance of Uluru to the ancestral owners. Later we watched the sun set on the rock, and behind the Olgas, and then headed home for dinner on the campsite.

16th September - Yesterday afternoon the climb had been closed so we headed back for another go. First we watched sunrise on the rock, which meant getting up at 4.45am. So much for being on holiday! The climb was closed again though, so we did the base walk instead. In a way it was a relief not to have to decide whether to go up or not, and the base walk was fascinating - more dreamtime stories about the patterns in the rock and what they meant, and incredible scenery rising from the flat of the desert. A talk we heard said "You could see a bull ant at 10km out there, as long as it wasn't lying down" and it's nigh on true.

In the afternoon we headed round to King's Canyon. Although we were getting rock fatigue, it was another spectacular trip. The climb to the top of the rim walk nearly killed me though! We also found the water hole in the back of the canyon, by the Garden of Eden, and I sat with my feet dipped in the cool water for a few minutes before we started the walk back to the bus. Alas, two of us got a little lost on the way - Megan and Ellie took a wrong turn and ended up back by the water hole. They radioed the rangers who came out to find them, following Terry who had left ten minutes before, and half an hour later we heard they were on their way back. By the time they got back to the bus, exhausted but safe, it was dark, and we spotted a satellite going overhead just before they returned.

17th September - Today there were lots of morning activities available - camel rides, helicopter rides, Harley rides. I chose the cheapest one, a lie-in! On the way we found some meteorite craters - not that impressive, as the sharp edges had been worn down over the years, but still colossal for the size of the rocks. At the roadhouse just outside Alice we tried to see Dinky the singing dingo, but he was on tour to Alice, so we soon moved on. Arriving into Alice was great - civilisation at last! I wandered to the station and caught the 'Ghan leaving for Darwin, so I watched it go. I'll be on the train myself on Thursday. Then we all met up for a meal in town, a goodbye for the tour people. The bar was great fun - peanut shells on the floor, and snakes in a tank in the bar. Later the owner brought the snake out, and passed it round. Even Ellie, whose fear of snakes was pretty intense, managed to stroke it at one point. It was kind of hard saying goodbye to everyone, but I was glad to be sleeping in a proper bed again!

Perth, living it down - 7th-11th September

I'm a little embarassed about this. My first night in a dorm, my three roommates all hardened construction workers, I hadn't eaten since breakfast and a few drinks later (well, a lot of drinks later) I had thrown up on the balcony. This is not something I plan to repeat, especially as we nearly came to blows, as apparently I hadn't been that quick in offering to clean up. Clean up I did, though, and since then I think we've all got on ok. Not to be repeated in Alice or Darwin I think. This did make 7th prety uneventful, but when I walked into town for dinner I saw they were setting up a tarmac rally, and got some lovely photos of all kinds of cars. Perth is very pretty at night too.

8th September I wandered round some of the museums, and was particularly impressed with the Aboriginal exhibition at the Museum of Western Australia. The rest of the museum was geology, natural history and a vague amalgamation of the three above areas specifically focused on Perth. All very nice, but nothing special, but the Aborigine section was fascinating. I spent a good 45 minutes in there (a long time for me, ask anyone) absorbing all sorts of information about early conflicts with the white folks, the 'stolen generation', Aboriginal rights in Australia. One particularly touching moment was when a father told his 5 year old daughter "Well, they were taken away from their parents when they were younger than you". I don't think I'd realised the enormity of it until then, and that it was all so recent, in the Fifties. I understand a bit more about all of the reconciliation and National Sorry Day and why that's so important, where I was a bit cynical before, as I didn't see what it would do. Another quote on the wall said "Black men know that when white folks find gold, black men have to leave, and the white men stay". I think that's been true one way or another all over the world.

The state art gallery is well worth a visit too - being out of my depth where art is concerned I won't go into too much detail, but it was nice to see mainly recent, mainly Australian works, instead of the Renaissance and classical oil paintings that seem to dominate the NSW art gallery. The glass sculptures were a particular highlight.

9th September This morning I booked my ferry and bike hire for Rottnest Island, and headed out to Fremantle. Arriving at 11.30am meant I had four hours to kill, so I headed to the markets for an hour or so. Fremantle Markets are a hive of activity, with all sorts of things on sale. Highlights for me were the kite stall and the Bratwurst, but I hadn't eaten since the previous afternoon, so I was pretty peckish. The Roundhouse seemed to suggest itself, so I headed up there for the time ball and time gun talk at 1pm. The man explained that the ball fell so that people would have the right time even on ships some kilometres away, as the shot would take time to travel there, and a few seconds translate to several kilometres when you're using the clock to navigate. That's where the phrase "keep your eye on the ball" comes from, in fact. The shot rang out with ear-piercing intensity - the little girl who had volunteered to press the button could barely contain her delight!

The Maritime museum was the next building round the coast and my cousin Jabez had given the Sydney one the thumbs up, so I had to go. I got straight on the submarine tour, which was full of fascinating stories about the dead man's bunk (right by the battery vents, where a malfunction would poison that man in 30 seconds) and Frankie breaking into the grog cabinet (only he knew that the bolt with the padlock on it was the only one that unscrewed, and betting $50 with each new crew member that he could get them a beer made him a fortune). If you go, ask for Ron's tour - he's a Scottish ex pilot who strays from the prepared script and has a chip on his shoulder about the management, but he knows his boat.

The museum itself is ok if you have an interest in that area, and there are improvements and renovations going on to improve it. It's an inexpensive way to pass a few hours but not worth the journey on its own. With the sub tour though, I felt I'd had my money's worth!

The voyage out to Rottnest left me checked into a hostel and on a beach alone waiting for the sun to set. I strode out to the island's one settlement as the last of the light was leaving and then a moment of panic when I thought I'd lost my keys turned into twenty minutes of panic when I realised that I had lost them. I didn't want to be stranded here with no bike and no access to my room! So I hurried back along the beach in the fast fading light, swearing to myself and scanning the sand for the red tag on my key. Five minutes more and the rising tide would have swept them into the Indian Ocean, but I found them, and calmed down a bit.

The Quokka Arms Hotel was the only place still open, so a burger and a pint of Swan Draught (the local brew) served as dinner. The quokkas wanted their share though, and wouldn't leave me alone once the food arrived. Again, photos later! For the uninitiated, they're the reason the island is called Rottnest (literally "Rat's Nest" in Dutch). They're small, furry marsupials, something like a cross between a wallaby and a beaver.

10th September Waking up, I chatted to the French surfer in the bunk next to mine. He'd been in Australia one day, and was looking forward to getting out on the water. We watched Sesame Street over breakfast (my choice) and I jumped on my bike.

The island is surrounded first by sandy beaches and rocky outcrops, and secondly by a rock ledge just below the water. It's a paradise for scuba divers and swimmers alike (and a little dangerous for surfers, but they're hardcore and don't care). All in all I must have seen 20 coves and bays that ordinarily I'd have walked over broken glass to swim from, but here I was spoilt for choice. I rode the length of the island and at the farthest point saw two galahs on a handrail. I got a couple of good photos and then they flew away. "Damn," said someone behind me "I'd just got my camera ready." Well I'll email you this one? I said. She laughed, and I said "No, really, what's your address?" We chated for a while and I discovered she was there to show her daughter where she had scattered her late husband's ashes. He had fished from Rottnest Island for forty years, she said. I told her a bit about myself, and her friend said "Pity my daughter isn't here, she's a beautiful girl". I laughed and said something about being spoken for.

The lighthouse was a treat too, though the ride up to it makes it well earned. Many of the roadside verges contained lizards and snakes (the latter of which I gave a wide berth) and pelicans and wading birds cover most of the rocks on the edges of the island. Eventually I did settle on a beach and dip in the water, with not a soul in sight and beautiful clear water in front of me. Half an hour later, though, I headed back to the main settlement for the ferry. Somewhere between tying up my bike and getting the ferry, I lost my bike lock key - this time, seemingly for good! I explained to the guy at the desk back in Fremantle and he said "We'll call and let you know what we had to do, and how much deposit you'll get back". Which is fair enough. Before I left I told the lady at the visitor centre it was a shame it was so remote from Sydney or London, or I'd be back again. She said "You'll come back anyway, everyone does, it's something in the water". I think that sinister prophecy might well be right, if just to find a beach more perfect than the one I settled on this time.

11th September I think it'll be mostly spent in the hostel. My tour leaves on Wednesday morning, very early!

Singapore, and Alec and Michelle's wedding - 31st Aug - 5th Sep

We flew into Singapore with Tiger Airways. We soon found out why the flight was so cheap, I've seen more legroom on a city bus, but it got us there. A lady in front of us on the jetway had a baby on her shoulder - we asked her if it counted as carry-on, and made a few cracks with them about "becoming unsettled in the overhead compartments during the flight" and so on. The guy next to me spoke about some crazy 9/11 conspiracy theories and how the Queen had killed Diana. I smiled and nodded.

31st August Arriving into Singapore at 3am may not have been the best idea but we coped with it ok, and got up at about noon the next day with no problems. The air conditioning in the room had actually made it too cold if anything, but it was better than the intense heat in Singapore, which I hope I'll adapt to next year! We walked to Parkview Square, the Batman Building as I've grown to call it thanks to Michelle. The Sultan Mosque was as imposing as I remember, but the heat was a bit much for both of us, so we left that part of town and headed to Esplanade. On the way I pointed out the Asian Civilisations Museum, where the wedding reception would be the following day, and we saw a young girl sliding down the concrete slopes of the Singapore River flyover by Esplanade, soon joined by her whole family, having an excellent time. Elissa and I sat on the steps by the outdoor stage and listened to a soundcheck for a later show, and just watched the world go by - something we should have done more of, if we'd had more time. Later on we caught some bands there too - Daphne was very impressive, and the two guys who did a Pink Floyd song were a favourite of Elissa's.

1st September - Wedding Day. We left the hotel at 9am, nervous we'd be late for the 10am service. We grabbed breakfast at a cafe a few blocks across Rochor Road, and were a bit concerned about our choice when we realised everyone in there was, well, white. I always gauge a place on whether the locals eat there, but this was a pleasant surprise. The tea was good, and we both had filling breakfasts, even if each was a heart attack waiting to happen. Bacon, egg, maple syrup and pancakes, mmmm.... I should have used the butter they provided too!

St Teresa's Church was a beautiful white building, and lots of guests were already waiting there when we arrived, including several (Wilson, Lauren, Larry) who I hadn't seen in 5 years! Father John O'Leary, our old chaplain at university presided, and the service was really touching - not least the moment when Michelle lost her lines for a few seconds, so Alec mouthed them to her as they gazed at each other.

Elissa and I wandered down Orchard Road for lunch, and nearly picked up some Dr Seuss books in a bookshop there. I reacquainted myself with Kopi Ping, the cold coffee flavoured with condensed milk which seems to be something of a Singapore delicacy. We spent most of the afternoon napping, still recovering from the flight.

The reception was beautiful. The view from the verandah was stunning, the Singapore skyline pressed up close, a bar below playing live jazz. Inside the speeches were wry - Mr Quah's line about the usual Singapore proposal being the guy saying "Dear, you know our incomes are now above the tax threshold....". James Molloy Jr's remark about Alec wearing tights as a young lad... Alec and Michelle both had a few words to say about how happy they were too, and I think everyone there is sure they'll be just as happy now as they've been these last few years. I was proud to be there to see it.

2nd September Most of the morning was spent recovering from the last few days, but we spent a great afternoon in the block by the hotel shopping for trinkets. Elissa bought a mushroom that flashes when your phone rings, and I went hunting for DVDs in Suntec City. After we'd got through most of Madagascar (Thank you, giant freaks!) we hit the road for our evening of Karaoke with the newly weds. I killed my throat with "Master of Puppets" (yay for Rock Karaoke!), Alec pulled out an excellent "Whole Again", Michelle wowed us with "Loser", "The Real Slim Shady" and "Man in the Mirror" and Elissa belted out "Since you've been gone" (I felt very proud). Getting home at 2am probably didn't help two already very tired travellers, but we had no deadlines to meet the next day.

3rd September After a late start, we made it to Sentosa and the Underwater World by 3pm. Sadly there were no cuttlefish, but the rays, angelfish and crabs made up for it. The highlight of Sentosa for me though was the Dolphin Lagoon. The show was unashamedly entertaining, unlike most other shows I've seen where they tend to overemphasise the good treatment of the animals. The music was astoundingly melodramatic - when Sanjay, a random audience member from India was being kissed by the dolphin it could have been music from the film of a Mills and Boon novel, and when the formation jumping was going on, I half expected Harrison Ford to drop from a helicopter. If it had been a drier day, I'd have paid the $15 to get a photo with the dolphins (who were, by all indications, extremely well looked after, in case I appeared glib about that above). A quick go on the luge and we took the cable car back to the mainland, and grabbed a quick dinner in a hawker centre.

4th September I can't tell you how relieved we both were that the flight was at a more reasonable time. We arrived into Perth at 9pm, slightly ahead of schedule, and Elissa and I raced each other in the customs queues. Amazingly, as a non-Australian entering Australia, I won! Aside from a telling off about bringing in some sweets without declaring them, everything went smoothly, and we drifted back into Perth, exhausted but pleased to have done everything we had planned to in Singapore.

Perth - living it up - 30th July to 6th August

Ok, I know I said I wouldn't write, but I always put those "It'll be quiet things" up when I'm about to update loads... No photos til I get back though, and they're the best bit, right?

30th July We flew into Perth late on 29th July, and Elissa had been at work all day, so she was understandably prety tired. I went to secure food for the both of us, and we slept like babies in the nice hotel we'd booked on Wellington Street. In the morning I woke up, keen to use the hotel's facilities. To my surprise, and Elissa's initial disbelief, I managed to rack up 100 lengths of the hotel's 10m swimming pool, though I felt it later. A guy working for the hotel said "Do you want the sauna switching on?" and I was all for it. He told me it was an electric one though, and I wasn't to throw water on it. Some of the guests do, even though there's a big sign on it, and they risk electrocution (sauna heaters run on ridiculously high ampage, which makes it very dangerous). I asked him if he'd ever lost any guests, and he said "Unfortunately not - those are the guests we'd like to lose".

Down by the river, we were lucky enough to see dolphins herding fish - fetching their lunch, which was shared by opportunist pelicans and cormorants. This is something I haven't seen again since, in the week I've spent here, and I keep checking. At one point they were only 30m from the shore, easily visible and audible. That was a real privilege.

Kings Park was as beautiful as everyone says. One particularly beautiful bit was the view from the top of Jacobs Ladder. A hell of a climb, for someone as out of shape as me, but well worth it. Elissa spotted Kevin Rudd (Australian Opposition Leader and strip club frequenter, for the uninitiated) recording a commercial in the park, looking very orange; presumably makeup for the cameras. The wildlife in the park was incredible too, all kinds of birds, some lizards and some beautiful plants. It's a day's entertainment in itself.

We rushed back into town and grabbed a bite to eat and jumped into the cab to the airport. The driver confirmed, yes we were lucky to see dolphins in Perth. Then we flew to Singapore (which I'll cover in a separate post).

5th September We arrived late again on 4th September, and went for dinner in a well priced and suitably dingy bar. The music was excellent, mostly, and the food was plentiful and very affordable. Elissa drank a Smurf (not sure what was in it, but it was blue-green and milky) and swore never to do so again. The hotel room was beautiful, soft, enormous bed, big TV, spa, all the things you hope for when you book. Breakfast was included so we woke up just in time and made the most of that. Elissa made some enquiries about Rottnest Island, but it seemed the only way to see it was overnight, and we'd booked the hotel that night, and Elissa was due to leave the next day. We settled on taking the ferry down to Fremantle. When we got there we had some excellent Gozleme in one of the cafe areas, and headed to the markets, to discover they ran Friday to Sunday. It was Wednesday.

Pottering round Fremantle was nice enough, but Elissa and I eventually agreed a beach was in order, so we jumped on the train to Cottesloe, and walked out to the beach. We joked about the golfers on the course by the coast, and applauded one somewhat unsuccessful player for not swearing more (quietly of course) and to my surprise, Elissa suggested we grab a few drinks. Normally if there's a suggestion of drinking, it's from me. We sat at a bar by the beach waiting for the sun to set and drinking a few beverages on the outside area. Unfortunately the sun wasn't setting nearly fast enough for either of us, so we caught a bus back to town, and made our way back to the hotel.

6th September We woke for breakfast, just in time again, and headed down to James Street for a few games of pool. Elissa and I have a running tournament for every new location, (which she will insist she's winning - I think it's a draw by now) and so the Western Australia round had to be played. Naturally it would be ungentlemanly of me to say anything about the result...

Elissa got herself a massage and I went to investigate a new camera in town. We made our way to the airport shortly afterwards, and said some emotional goodbyes over a drink in the airport bar. Needless to say, I'll miss my closest friend on this side of the world for the next few weeks while I'm travelling, and there's already been a lot I've seen that I'd like to have shared with her, but I'm sure the next four weeks will fly by, and I'm looking forward to being in Sydney again, with lots of stories to tell.

The next part of the Perth story is about the rougher end of travelling - no spas or saunas anymore!

Low on the radar

You may have noticed I've been a bit quiet on here recently. I'm actually out of Sydney and around various bits of Australia at the moment, doing travelling for real, rather than the home away from home I had in Sydney. It's proving both challenging and rewarding so far, and I'm very excited about the 6 day tour to Alice I have booked for Wednesday, and the prospect of the National Parks around Darwin. I'll be back in Sydney and writing about James Morrison at the Basement, Alec and Michelle's wedding and Elissa and my trip to Singapore, and all of the WA and NT stuff, from 4th October, so if you're checking back more than once a month, probably best not to bother til then.... Thanks for reading!