Behaviour on the tube

I worry about people. Including me. This morning as I left the tube, someone tried to get on before everyone had got off. I had earphones in, so couldn't hear if there was the now ubiquitous 'Please allow passengers off the train first' announcement, but really, people shouldn't have to be told. One man did though. Despite the fact that there was plenty of room, I felt I had a point to prove. As he boarded, we locked shoulders, and I pushed him very firmly off the train again. He really shouldn't need to be told.

I read somewhere that males who exhibit space-occupying behaviour (fighting over arm-rests in the tube, spreading your knees slightly on thin, cramped train and bus seats) are considered more attractive. Perhaps I pushed the guy around as part of some sort of heirarchical ritual, to keep him in his place. Perhaps, had we been friends, I would have picked fleas off him like chimps do, and let him mate with my wife. As Bjork says, theres defen-lydefen-lydefen-lyno lo-gik. Anyway, it made me think. This evening I'm going to go to Brixton tube and walk through a crowd of big nasty-looking drug dealers with determination and indifference to physical contact, a bit like Richard Ashcroft in that Verve video. If I survive it, I'll tell you all about it in the morning.